When it comes to Halloween parties, I make a delibérate effort not to look sexy. In fact, five years ago, my husband and I bought his-and-hers whoopee cushion costumes and we wear them every year. Why? Because I don’t understand why a witch has to be wearing fishnets and a pair of fuck-me boots.
What are people saying when they dress up like ’80s hookers on Halloween? That sex is scary? Whatever the reason, I’ll be sticking to my whoopee cushion, thank you very much. It’s partly because my ¡dea of what sexy is has changed as l’ve got older. I used to feel sexy in a short skirt, high heels and a low-cut top. Now I feel sexy in jeans, a T-shirt and possibly even a sports bra.
It’s no longer about how much flesh I can have on display – actually, after years of confusión l’ve come to realise that l’m at my least sexy when I am trying to be overtly sexy. Chilled out and happy works way better. For example, Marilyn Monroe is one of the most famous pin-ups of all time, but my favourite pictures of her are where she’s on the beach in a big woolly jumper.
Don’t get me wrong, I go kinda loopy over pies of her in a vintage swimsuit, but those natural shots – all windswept and carefree – that is the Marilyn l’d want to hop into bed with ¡f I was that way inclined. Which, to be honest, if faced with Marilyn Monroe for reais, I probably would be.
When it comes to men, l’m the same; I find my husband most attractive in jeans and a T-shirt (but then guys don’t have the same ‘sex/flesh’ issue that we have, do they?). I may think that low-key = sexy, but it’s not something I would ever try and convince other women they need to follow.
We all have to find our own versión of sexy – and if that is a short skirt, high heels and a low-cut top, all power to you. And sometimes I do want to really amp up the sex factor. I turn to make-up, rather than clothes, on such occasions. Big smoky eyes and nude glossy lips is a bit of a fantasy look for me. I don’t think I pulí it off, but I love the idea of even looking a teeny bit like a ’60s sex kitten. I go all feline and naughty when I really ham up my eyes.
Ultimately, I think dressing for your own personal sexuality rather than society’s shorthand for sexy (something that’s shoved in your face from a young age) is important. Finding your versión of sexy goes hand in hand with figuring out what good sex is to you; what make you feel good? What makes you feel hot The truth is, sexiness is mainly behim the eyes. It’s what you say, how you feel and how you communicate that is most successful in enticing other people. Your brain is sexier than your body, so don’t forget to use that, too.